When Growth Feels Stuck, It’s Rarely About Effort
By Janell Rae, Founder of the Energy Intelligence Method™
There’s a moment many people reach in their personal growth where they feel
confused.
They’ve done the work.
They’ve reflected.
They’ve gained awareness.
And yet… something still feels stuck.
Not dramatically broken.
Not obviously wrong.
Just unchanged.
This is often the point where people assume they need to try harder, go deeper, or fix themselves more aggressively.
But in many cases, the issue isn’t effort at all.
It’s where the system is still holding on.
Growth Isn’t Linear — and Neither Is Healing
We tend to imagine growth as a forward-moving line.
Learn → apply → improve.
But emotional and energetic change rarely works that way.
Instead, it often moves in layers.
Something shifts.
Then something else resurfaces.
Then a familiar pattern appears again—not because you failed, but because the system
is revealing what hasn’t been addressed yet.
This can feel discouraging if you expect progress to look clean and steady.
In reality, it’s often a sign that you’re getting closer to the root.
Why Old Patterns Reappear During Expansion
One of the least talked-about aspects of growth is this:
When your life expands, old adaptations can resurface.
Not because you’re regressing— but because the system is being asked to operate beyond what it once learned was safe.
Situations that involve:
visibility
boundaries
leadership
intimacy
rest
saying no
receiving more
often activate deeper layers of experience.
These layers aren’t accessed by thinking.
They’re accessed by activation.
And when they surface, they’re often misunderstood as resistance or self-sabotage.
Many Patterns Began as Protection
What we call “patterns” didn’t start as problems.
They started as solutions.
Ways the system learned to:
stay safe
stay connected
avoid conflict
remain functional
Over time, those solutions can become limiting—but the system doesn’t automatically
let them go just because circumstances have changed.
Especially if the original emotional experience that shaped them never fully resolved.
Why Pushing Through Often Backfires
When growth feels stuck, many people respond by pushing.
More discipline.
More mindset work.
More pressure.
But pressure tends to reinforce the very patterns people are trying to outgrow—because
pressure feels similar to earlier experiences where adaptation was required.
The nervous system doesn’t release through force.
It releases through safety.
When the system senses that it no longer needs a particular strategy to survive, it
relaxes its grip naturally.
The Quiet Shift That Changes Everything
One of the most overlooked signs of real change isn’t intensity.
It’s ease.
Suddenly:
a familiar reaction doesn’t show up
a situation feels neutral instead of charged
a boundary feels obvious instead of hard
a choice feels clear without internal debate
These shifts don’t come from trying to be different.
They come from the system no longer needing to protect itself in the same way.
A Deeper Framework Behind This
Janell Rae explores this process more formally in an academic article that introduces
the concept of open and closed emotional loops—a model that explains why some
experiences integrate naturally while others remain active beneath the surface.
The article looks at how unresolved emotional activation shapes patterns, identity, and
reactivity—and why resolution often happens quietly, without force.
Read the full article here:
Growth doesn’t stall because you’re not doing enough.
Often, it pauses because something deeper is asking to be acknowledged, released, or
reorganized. And when that happens, forward movement resumes—without pushing.
